HOW THE PONY STOLE HEARTH'S WARMING EVE
Every Pony down in Ponyville liked Hearth's Warming Eve a lot But Lyra who lived just North in Ponyville did not!
Lyra hated Hearth's Warming Eve! The Hearth's Warming Eve Season! Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be, perhaps, that her saddle was too tight. It could be her cutie mark wasn't flanked on just right.
But I think that the most likely reason of all May have been that her hooves were not real hands at all.
But, whatever the reason, her hooves or her mark, She stood there on Hearth's Warming Eve having thoughts most dark,
Staring down from her window with a long, equine frown At the warm lighted windows from the theater in town,
For she knew every Pony down in Ponyille that way, Was busy preparing a silly old play.
"And they're talking about harmony," she snarled with a sneer. "Tomorrow is Hearth's Warming! It's practically here!"
Then she growled, with her hooves nervously tapping, "I must find some way to keep Hearth's Warming from coming!
For, tomorrow, I know all the Pony and Colts, Will wake bright and early. They'll all be acting like dolts!
And then! Oh, the neighs! Oh, the Neighs! Neighs! Neighs! Neighs! There's one thing I hate! All the NEIGHS! NEIGHS! NEIGHS! NEIGHS!
And they'll whinny, wicker and chuff, racing 'round like a goof. They'll dance with fetlocklers tied onto their... hoof. They'll blow their hoofhoovers. They'll bang their hooftookas. They'll blow their shoeshoopers. They'll bang their flankdookas. They'll spin their derpookers. They'll slam their saddleslonkas. They'll beat their buckloopers. They'll wham their wonyponkas. And they'll play ancient games like Lunazizzlecolo, A blindfolded scooter-skate type of steeplechase and polo! And then they'll make ear-splitting neighs clophooks! On their great big magical ponycarnio plooks!
Then the Pony, young and old, will sit down to a buffet. And they'll buffet! And they'll buffet! And they'll BUFFET! BUFFET! BUFFET! BUFFET!
They'll feast on Hay Pudding, and rare Pony lemon soufflé, Sour lemon soufflé is a dessert I can't stand to insert!
And then they'll do something I hate most of all! Every Pony down in Ponyville, the tall and the small,
They'll stand close together, with Hearth's Warming bell ringing. They'll stand... hoof-in-hoof, and those Pony will start that plaything!"
"And they'll sing! And they'll Play! And they'd Act! Play! ACT! PLAY!" And the more Lyra thought of this Hearth's Warming play end with a ... hoof-in-hoof sing, The more Lyra thought, "I must stop this whole thing!
Why for so many years I've put up with it now! I must stop Hearth's Warming from coming! But how?"
Then she got an idea! An awful idea! The Little Pony got a wonderful, awful idea!
"I know just what to do!" Lyra laughed in her throat. "I'll make a quick Princess Platinum crown and a coat."
And she chuckled, and clucked, "Heartstring, gal, what a plan you will lay! With this coat and this crown, I'll look just like I'm part of that play!"
Then she slunk to the theater. She snuck in and stole settings! She took the Stage lights! He took the cast dressings!
She cleaned out the icebox stocked full for the buffet. Why, that Pony even took the lemons for the backup soufflé!
Then she stuffed all the food on her cart with glee. "Now," grinned the Pony, "I will hide on the other side of Everfree!"
As Lyra pulled the cart, an she started to bolt, She heard a small sound like the whimper of a young colt.
She turned around fast, and she saw small Pip! Little colt Pip Who, who was back on another holiday trip.
He stared at Lyra and said, "Princess Platinum, why, Why are you taking our food and playthings? Why?"
But, you know, that old Uni was so smart and so slick, She thought up a lie, and she thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little Pip," the fake Princess lied, "There's a Lemon on my list that's actually a LIME!
So I'm taking it home to my castle, my dear. I'll switch it out there, then I'll bring it back here."
And her fib fooled the colt. Then she patted his head, he's not the brightest kid, and he bought what she did.
And when Pip was away from her view, She high-tailed it for the woods and cackled like a shrew!
Then she went up the mountain herself, the old liar. And the last thing she took was the scooter of that weird flyer. On their walls in the theater she left nothing but hooks and some wire.
And the one speck of food that did not make her gunny Was a crumb that was even too small for a bunny!
She had done the same thing to the other Pony', Leaving all but the fruits in bowls that were waxy and phony!
It was quarter of dawn. All the sleeping houses very still, All the Pony still a-snooze, when she made the top hill,
Packed with their costumes, their weird toys, their bells, Their hoof-centric things and their handless lies, and buffet supplies !
A thousand feet up, up the side of Mount Clopit, She rode with her load to the tiptop to drop it!
"Pooh-pooh to the Pony!" she was crazily humming. "They're finding out now that no Hearth's Warming is coming!
They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do! Their mouths will hang open a minute or two Then the Pony down in Ponyville will all cry what will we do!
That's a noise," grinned Lyra, "that I simply must hear!" She paused, and the Pony put a hoof to her ear.
And she did hear a sound rising over the snow. It started in low, then it started to grow
But this sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded glad!
Every Pony down in Ponyville, the tall and the small, Was singing without any play or buffet at all!
She hadn't stopped Hearth's Warming from coming! It came! Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Unicorn, with her hooves ice-cold in the snow, Stood puzzling and puzzling. "How could it be so?
It came without theater! It came without plays! It came without games, buffet, or soufflé!"
She puzzled and puzzed till her horn was sore. Then the Pony thought of something she hadn't before.
Maybe Hearth's Warming, she thought, isn't about what one can't stand. Maybe Hearth's Warming, perhaps, means something more than a hand!
And what happened then? Well, in Ponyville they say That the Unicorn’s small hooves grew three times that day!
And then the true meaning of Hearth's Warming came through, And Lyra found the strength of ten fingers, in her hooves!
And now that her hooves didn't feel not so right, She whizzed with her stash through the bright morning light
With a smile to her soul, she descended Mount Clopit Cheerily whinnying out that she “Got it!”
She road into Ponyville. She brought back their stuff. She brought it all back hoping that was enough.
She brought back their hooftoys and their flankdookas and shoeshoopers, Brought back their fetlocklas, their derplers and buckloopers.
She brought everything back, all the food for the buffet! And she, watched by Bon Bon, was made to eat the soufflé!
Welcome Hearth's Warming. Bring your cheer, Cheer to all Pony, far and near.
Hearth's Warming is in our grasp So long as we have hooves to grasp.
Hearth's Warming will always be Just as long as Brony are we.
Welcome Hearth's Warming while we stand, Hearth to heart, and hoof not hand.